First Bit Of The Chrisis Screenplay

This was inspired by this post on Tumblr (reposted on Facebook). It includes multiple Chris’s, including: Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt, Barrie, Pine, Bale, Nolan, Eccleston, O’Dowd, Timothy, Eigeman and Walken, trying to defeat a snarky omniscient voice and save a kid’s hospice.

The Chrisis

Scene 1

RUSSO:         Cut! Chris, is there something wrong?

EVANS:         No, why?

RUSSO:         Because your acting today sucks.

RDJ:               No need to be mean!

RUSSO:         What the hell? I wasn’t even talking to you!

RDJ:               So? It’s still not-

*Loud, ominous voice booms over the set*

VOICE:          Behold, the omniscient being that is all evil!

RDJ:               -Fair.

EVANS:         What the hell just happened?

PRATT:                      I take it that’s a rhetorical question?

*EVANS shakes his head and HEMSWORTH (HEMS) enters*

HEMS:                       What is upwards, my dearest mortals?

EVANS:         You’re still in character?

*Everyone looks about them*

ALL:               Wait, what was that noise?

HEMS:                       What noise? Did I drop Mjolnir?

RDJ:               Don’t be silly.

VOICE:          I said, listen UP! God, can’t you people hear me?

ALL:               We hear you, we’re just not listening.

VOICE:          Self-entitled *loud beep*. Well, listen up! I’m gonna go destroy this kid’s hospice in Boston, and because this is an action movie, you lot are gonna try and stop me, got it?

ALL:               Why?

VOICE:          Because…because…oh shut up! Think of the children! Stop being so apathetic!

RDJ:               I guess he has a point.

*Loud crash, and BARRIE stumbles into the studio*

BARRIE:        Uh, hi?

EVANS:         Who the hell are you?

*Sheepishly holds out hand*

BARRIE:        Uh, my name’s-

CHARLES:    Smeghead!

*BARRIE facepalms but everyone else jumps to shake his hand*

HEMS:           Salutations, smeghead.

EVANS:         Goddammit Chris.

ALL:               Yeah, what?

*EVANS facepalms and shakes his head*

EVANS:         I meant Thor over here. Put the bloody hammer down already.

*HEMSWORTH hugs Mjolnir*

HEMS:           Never, mortal!

Dream Rambles – The Infinity Ball

“I’ve told you this a hundred times, Alex – don’t play it so fast.

Her student, however, just stared at her, then promptly burst out laughing.

“Stop it,” Mir warned.

She shrugged. “I can’t help laughing!”

Yes, but you could at least try. “They won’t let you play in the concert if you don’t practise properly, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Alexandria said, eyes shining with mischief. “I mean, that’s the only reason I’m doing it, right? To play at the Ball?”

The Infinity Ball was the most esteemed event of the year, held on the night of the winter and summer solstices. Mir had been in attendance to play in the orchestra since she was seven, and for the past two years the headmistress of the Academy had asked her to play by herself as well, a privilege she relished with what her father liked to refer to as, “a snobby spoilt brat’s kind of pride”, and she was hoping, to begin with, that perhaps Alex would be up to a suitable standard so that they could perform a duet.

However, considering the fact that the girl in question had the attention span of a spoon, and was intent on ignoring Mir and instead plaiting her hair – endlessly – that didn’t seem very likely.

“What?” she asked when she realised she was being glared at. “Mir, please, lighten up a bit. My lip hurts.”

“What? Don’t be dense, Alex – you don’t use your lips to play piano.”

“Don’t you?”

Oh, for guardians’ sake. “No, you don’t.” Sighing, she pointed at the music. “Go from there, bar thirteen.”

“Thirteen’s an unlucky number,” Alex said.

“Oh, just shut up and play the damn music.”

***

“You make it sound as if you don’t want to go.”

Eli rolled his eyes, making his brother squint at him with even more confusion. “To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t believe I do.”

“But why not?” Ali asked, then paused, and smiled slightly. “Miriam Aoann will be there.”

I don’t like the idea of punching someone to make them shut up, Ali, so don’t force me to. “And?”

“And you love her.”

Goddammit, Ali, just leave me alone! Is that so hard? “No I don’t, who told you that.”

“You did.”

“I do not love Miriam Aoann,” Eli said flatly, staring at the carpet as he buttoned up his shirt and pulled his jerkin off the back of the door. “And before you ask, I don’t love Alexandria Ryell either.”

Ali frowned. “But why not? Alex is nice.”

“Love is about more than people being nice, Ali, you know. It’s a…a connection between people, whether it’s just two people or three or four or a dozen.”

His brother nodded. “Like with magic.”

Oh, trust me, if she was as easy to figure out as just simple magic, my life would be perfect. “Yes, Ali, just like magic. Now come on, let’s go. Mother and Father will be waiting.”

***

“I don’t agree with this, Daywin.”

Bella grimaced as her brother circled her and Dylinna where they sat, and tentatively took hold of her wife’s hand to calm herself. Deep breaths, Bella, just lots of deep breaths.

“What’s there to agree with?” he asked, far too confident for her liking. “It’s a perfectly sound plan.”

Dream Rambles – Alex

So…I’m bored. Rambling time!

***

“Oi, you, get up! Someone’s here to see you.”

A small yet defiantly fierce hand grabbed her and pulled her up out of sleep, and Alex blinked at them as she tried to remember where she was. The stables stank of manure and dirty hay, but she supposed she kind of liked the feel of the stone floor – and the sounds of the horse in the next stable along.

A girl stood at the doorway, wearing a long blue dress, her hair gathered in a messy plait that went halfway down her back. Her skin was a strange colour, somewhere between brown and white – almost orange, really.

NaNoWriMo 2014!

This year was my first time attempting NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month. I did Camp NaNo in April and again later on in July, but this was my first time when I really was aiming for 50k. I was working on ‘Silk & Shadows’ the last Utalentia novel which is purposefully littered with flashbacks and ramblings aplenty.

Also today I was told that someone I know really likes my writing and thinks it flows really well (which is the thing he was saying was best about it) and wants to read more! So I’m going to let him be one of the beta-readers for S&S now, and then maybe in January, depending on whether or not I do my Int 1 for Latin, I might go back and start revising it. For now, though, it’s back to Volume I for me.

Here, though, have a blurb for my latest project, ‘Wondering, Wandering’, a kid’s sci-fi historical thingy-majig:

“Mabel McCloud isn’t doing well at school. Actually, that’s wrong. She’s doing terribly at school. Abominably.

It’s the year 2154, and time travel is finally a reality. But in order to go back to do the research for a history project on the Neanderthals with the nerdiest boy in her year, she has to rent out her body.

You see, nowadays, one has to literally sell their soul to do your homework properly. And teachers are pickier than ever about citing your sources.

But while she’s hiding in the wilderness from dinosaurs, having misjudged the time period and ended up a few million years out, the machine malfunctions and she ends up separated from her partner, stranded in a gutter in the grimiest alleyway of all Liverpool in the year 2013.

There, she meets the aspiring time traveller Arthur Ridgeback, an eccentric scientist with a taste for the new and unusual, and they patch together a plan to find out how to fix the machine, before whoever it is renting her body does something they shouldn’t…”

Thinking in Pictures

Originally posted on Aspie Catholic:

Temple Grandin

“If by some magic, autism had been eradicated from the face of the earth, then men would still be socializing in front of a wood fire at the entrance to a cave.”–Temple Grandin,

Temple Grandin is one of my favorite celebrities.  She is an animal behaviorist who studied at three universities.  She invented adaptive curved corrals, which reduced stress, panic, and injury in animals in slaughterhouses.  She is a spokeswoman for autistic rights, because she happens to be autistic herself.  Her autism helped her to invent the hug machine, a machine designed to calm those with hypersensitivity.

Temple Grandin's "Squeeze Machine" Temple Grandin’s “Squeeze Machine”

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Cosplay 101: A Beginner’s Guide

Originally posted on Another Castle:

It’s a new year and new conventions are popping up again. For some, it’s a new year to start cosplaying. However, doing a cosplay can be a little intimidating when you go into it without a plan. Hopefully this guide can help.

What is cosplay?

It’s wearing costumes and acting out those characters at conventions.

  • Sometimes it is interchanged with people just wearing costumes but cosplay means doing the whole experience. You don’t have to act though.

My experience is still at a beginners level :

  • Can’t sew and don’t know how to use a sewing machine
  • Not a craft person
  • And I don’t have partnerships with people to give me parts

Despite all that, I asked and still asks questions from experienced people and do my research. I’ve cosplayed since 2010 and have 5 costumes (3 are hits and 2 are still work in progress).

However, over the years…

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